


Whispered Glances

by dragonsav



Series: Together, Through a Thousand Stars [2]
Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Mentions of Suicidal Thoughts, and scott worrying about his sister, but its super brief like, but only slightly - Freeform, i tried to get more in depth into Sara's character but idk??, its mostly fluff, not even worth mentioning maybe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-11-29 02:47:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11431575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonsav/pseuds/dragonsav
Summary: Scott has been worried about his sister since the defeat of the Archon, but recently she's been more distant than usual. Jaal thinks he has the solution to the problem.





	Whispered Glances

On most days, the concept of time was meaningless. She had traversed galaxies and in space, time was... infinitely smaller somehow. amidst the stars and endless nebulae.    
   
But sometimes, mostly on dark nights when she couldn't sleep and the nightmares chased into her consciousness, she would walk alone in the dark and think. It was harder to do when traveling, it was inadvisable to take a stroll through open space you know. but on Aya, when the wind blew a cold breeze down from the mountains and the stars could be seen shining like beacons in the dark. tonight, it was easy to let herself slip away in thought, sometimes it was peaceful... but most of the time It was dangerous.    
   
She had intended on sleeping, she really did. but had instead gone for a walk to escape the nightmares that made her hands tremble and shake in fear, somehow ending up here, just outside resistance Headquarters. Whenever they were docked on official business she would find Jaal here gazing out into the land below them. It was a gorgeous view, and reminded her of the beauty in chaos. Rivers of molten rock flowed down the mountains in some areas, only to be cooled by the crystal clear rivers that crossed their paths.  

Sara was vaguely aware of the voices floating on the breeze from the Tavetaan. The tempest crew was enjoying a bit of shore leave, and since defeating the archon her duties had become more of a diplomatic nature than a Pathfinding one. the Nexus was less of a mess since founding meridian, but not by much honestly. 

Tann was toying with the idea of going to find the Quarian ark. they had received an emergency missive from it weeks ago, warning them not to try to find them. Whatever had happened it was bad, and Sara didn't believe Tann was actually considering going after them. which was a shame because the nexus would probably benefit from a few more quarians.   
    
A few had come with the Nexus crew, and Sara had become acquainted with the three that worked in SAM node. Rhana, Merze, and Creele. She had found it ironic that there were quarians working with artificial intelligence again, and the three also found it quite amusing. SAM even expressed a particular fondness for Rhana, who according to him was interesting to speak with, and had a rather open minded opinion on AI. She even went so far as to ask if he was feeling uncomfortable when she was changing out some faulty wiring. SAM couldn't feel things like that on his own just yet, but he appreciated the gesture.    
   


it was times like these that those thoughts laid heavily on her shoulders. 

Sara may have found the arks with the largest population, but what about the others? She was still a Pathfinder, and it was still her job to bring _everyone_ home. The remaining milky way species may not be human, but they were still her people. And people like Rhana, Merze and Creele would never get their new start with the burden of never seeing their families again. She couldn't live with that.  

But gods, she was so tired of the world depending on her. Sure, there were other pathfinders but the initiative had practically put her up on a pedestal. Made her the face of the initiative, the one who saved them all from the brink. She was exhausted and didn't know how much longer she could do it.  
   
With a sigh Sara sat down near the balcony overlooking the rolling valleys of Aya, pulling her knees to her chest and looking up at the stars.    
   
"this will never be enough." She lamented softly to no one, and the stars held no comfort for her as they usually did.  
There was no solace in knowing thousands of souls were just as lost as she had once been; confused and terrified of what could happen next.  She shook her head, setting her forehead on her knees, tears slowly dripping down her face.   
   
   
Scott watched her from one of the lofts in the Tavetaan, he had been playing a round of poker with Gil Drack, Liam, and Jaal, but seeing his sister down there alone made him worry. Drack had gone to get more drinks, and Gil and Liam went to see if they could recruit more unlucky souls to their game. Jaal shot a glance at Scott, noting the worried scrunch of his brow. his white hair usually gelled up flowing freely in the breeze. Placing a hand on his, drawing the human out of his worried trance. Scott looked back at him, smiling warmly and giving his hand a squeeze, but Jaal knew better.  
Something was troubling him.    
   
"you are doing it again."    
   
"what, pray tell, am I doing my love?" Scott inquired, picking up his drink and swirling the contents of the cup around before taking a sip.    
   
"your left brow twitches when you are worried, and when you are worrying about her, you get this sad look on your face with the added eyebrow twitch. What is bothering you, darling one?" Jaal questioned gently, he didn't like seeing his lover so stressed over something. Sara was his friend as well, but she simply wasn't as open with her emotions, and would crack down on them if he pried which just ended up hurting her more.    
Scott relented with a sigh, fingers brushing over the scar on the side of his face. "Sara has been more distant than normal. Even from me."     
   
Jaal nodded slowly. "She has always been distant, Scott, you know that. Do you think there's something in particular?"    
   
Scott shrugged, looking back down at her. "When mom died, or when we thought she died... Sara fell, really hard. First it was her husband, and then mom. She wouldn't talk to anyone and spent all of her time cleaning or doing anything to keep herself from sitting still."  the man shook his head.  "I once found her with a pistol in front of her, she was just staring at it. When I asked what she was doing she didn't answer me... but it doesn’t take a genius to know what she was thinking."     
   
Those were dark thoughts indeed, Jaal thought. he had no idea Sara went through that, it started to make him worried too, left unchecked those kind of thoughts would fester like an infected wound. He listened intently as Scott continued.    
   
"I kept a close eye on her after that. But then all that sadness was replaced with anger, and she left home. We kept in touch but she was never the same. I've seen this before... and what happens after isn't good. She isolates herself too much." Scott shook his head, speaking as though he were scolding his sisters actions, rubbing unshed tears form his eyes as he sighed.  
Jaal nodded again, that sounded like someone he knew, and if he was as predictable as Jaal thought he was still awake. probably sitting at his desk glaring at emails and reports from Voeld or Havarl or Kadara.    
   
After the little fumble on Voeld, Sara and Evfra had both come back a bit different. Jaal saw it in the way Evfra stood around her, spoke to her. There was a touch of something he couldn't quite explain, but he understood it well enough. It was the same kind of nervous fluttering Jaal had experienced before he was aware of Scott's feelings towards him. Scott looked back at his lover, following his gaze to the resistance headquarters. Jaal suddenly stood up then, grinning down at Scott. "I think I can help. I'll be right back."    
   
Scott frowned but didn't object, continuing to sip his drink, watching his sister with a worried frown.    
   
Jaal made his way through the Tavetaan, the torches along the side of the railing giving the area an earthy glow. the fire light flickering in the mist of Aya's waterfalls as he passed. he walked by Drack on the way down, saying he would be back and that his drink better still be there. Drack gave a gruff response before sending him on his way, mumbling about 'frilly fruity drinks'.    
   
Jaal jogged up the steps of Resistance HQ, nearly deserted save for the one light coming from Evfra's office. Of course he was still awake. Jaal didn't bother knocking, the doors sliding open with a soft swishing sound.    
   
Evfra lifted his gaze from the desk, harsh lines and an angry scowl set in his features. "What do you want."    
   
Jaal shook his head, huffing air through his nose. "You work too hard. I need a favor."    
   
Evfra squinted his eyes at him suspiciously. "Last time you said that you had 'borrowed' the southern waterfall."  Jaal rolled his eyes, that really wasn't as big a deal as Evfra made it out to be, though Scott did have a tendency to be...loud. that probably got on Evfra's nerves more than anything. "It's not that kind of favor Evfra. I actually need you to leave your office to do it."    
   
Evfra let out a tired sigh, rubbing a hand over his face. "Get to the point Jaal."  
   
Jaal walked over to the window, gesturing him to follow.    
   
The resistance leader glared at his lieutenant, folding his arms and walking towards the window, glaring at the buildings around them, especially at the bright Tavetaan. "What am I supposed to be looking at, _exactly_ ." Jaal pointed down at the lone figure near the overlook of Aya, unmistakable white hair blowing in the wind.    
   
Evfra's bad attitude became even worse. Was this Jaal's attempt to shove them together? he knew it was too much to hope that he would leave that subject where it lay, especially after Voeld. Evfra was half tempted to throw him out the window. This was foolish, he seethed, glaring at the other angara. Jaal shook his head, folding his arms as well.    
   
"Scott is worried about her. She has been... different lately. Distant. and has been snapping angrily at anyone who dares ask." Jaal elaborated, raising a brow at him. "Sound familiar?"    
   
Yes it did, it sounded exactly how he acted. Evfra's irritation slowly subsided, brushing a hand against his still healing arm. Jaal gave him a knowing look, and it was almost enough to bring his ire back. he sent a warning shock through his bioelectric field, nothing to hurt but it would feel uncomfortable. Jaal shot him a look, his nose scrunched up in a look of annoyance.    
   
"Sometimes you act like a child, Evfra. Especially when it comes to your feelings," Jaal groused, leaning on the wall by the window. Evfra snorted, shrugging his shoulders. "so says you."    
Jaal sighed, setting a hand on Evfra's shoulder as he turned to leave.    
   
"Consider it please... she bears a great burden and has no one to catch her should she fall... Scott fears that she will not come back this time." He pleaded softly. He already cared for her, this much Jaal knew, he just hoped that this was the push he needed to realize it.    
Evfra gave him a puzzled look, his eyes widening. Jaal let his hand fall from his shoulder and began walking towards the door, his silence speaking for him.    
   
"Fine. Though I'm not sure what you want me to do."    
   
Jaal smiled, glancing back at him. "Why don't you try dancing?"    
   
Evfra's eyes widened even further, tripping over his next words. Jaal left with a boisterous laugh, furthering Evfra's embarrassment.  
With a scowl, Evfra shook his head, glancing back down at  Sara from the window. His heart ached with a longing that he was all too familiar with by now, a longing that would only grow if he went down there. He knew what it was like, the hopelessness and the numb feeling. He chose to deal with it by locking it away, replacing the hurt with anger and instilling fear in his foes. Thinking back on it left a bitter taste in his mouth.    
   
No, he wouldn't leave her to become angry like he had, he wouldn't wish that on anyone.    
   
So he left, locking the door to his office behind him and making his way down the stairs. He made his way over to her slowly, enjoying the cold breeze. Sara lifted her head from her knees upon hearing him approach, her brows furrowing.    
   
They had not spoken since Voeld, and Evfra wasn't sure how she felt about that. But nevertheless, he sat down beside her. staying silent and looking out at the mountains and valleys below them. He could feel her gaze on him, burning into his skin like a fever, suddenly grateful that it was a cold night. He glanced down at her, his brow furrowing when he saw the tear streaks down her cheeks. Without thinking, he lifted his arm, beckoning for her to move closer to him.    
   
Sara looked up at him hesitantly, before scooting close, leaning her head on his chest.    
   
"whatever is troubling you, you don’t need to tell me, but... I want to be there for you..." It was difficult to voice his feelings aloud, and even harder to look her in the eyes as he did so, his deep voice whispering to her softly. "If you will have me... I don’t want you to be alone."    
   
Sara felt her throat tighten, tears threatening to burst. She could hear the strain in his voice, it was so difficult for him to lay his heart at her feet. She took his other hand in hers, squeezing softly. She was afraid if she spoke she would shatter like damaged porcelain, but she forced herself to speak anyways.    
   
"I don't feel like I've done enough... none of this... peace, feels real. It's like a dream and one day I'll wake up."    
   
Evfra listened quietly, the arm around her shoulders tightening as he drew her closer, trying to reassure her. She took a shaking breath and continued speaking.    
   
"There are more of my people out there, from the Milky Way. And we don't know where they are... they don't have a home yet... I'm just-- I'm tired, Evfra. I wasn't meant for this..."    
   
Evfra nodded slowly. Had she been an angara he probably would have helped comfort her with his bio-electricity but... he was at a loss. So he settled for keeping her close to him, hoping that it was enough. He sighed deeply, keeping his voice low as he spoke.    
   
"no one is made to suffer through war, Sara," he pondered for a moment, choosing his next words carefully. "My family consisted of farmers and scholars... not a single warrior among us."    
   
Sara looked up at him, the pad of her thumb brushing over the back of his hand; she understood the sensitive subject of his family, he did not speak of them. She listened quietly as he continued, emotion filling his words as he stared off into the distance, remembering days that were happier; picking flowers for his mother and running through the fields of Havarl with his siblings, helping his father with the chores, and learning to weave with his cousins.    
   
"When they died I..." he faltered a bit. why was he speaking of this to her? What good could come of this? He glanced down at her, recognizing the look on her face. She too was staring out into the distance, brows drawn together and silent tears rolling down her cheeks. Sometimes he was so wrapped up in his own pain that he did not see the anguish of others. She had lost members of her family too, she understood more than anyone. Perhaps not on the same scale, but that didn’t matter. He cleared his throat, looking back out into the sky, watching the creatures that inhabited the skies float by, their young nestled underneath their wings.    
   
"I was lost for a long time. I pushed anyone who could have cared for me away. I became angry and bitter, molded myself for this war that had taken them from me. I understood the suffering that was needed, and was ready." He breathed out a chuckle, shaking his head as he continued.  
"Or I thought I was... it took me a while to steel myself for it. And it's taken me even longer to let someone close..." His voice trailed off, swallowing nervously. Stars, he felt like a child, anxiety making his stomach twist in knots.     
   
"I understand..." She whispered softly as she looked down at their hands, her palm looking alarmingly small in his own.     
   
"I used to be married..." She breathed out, her shoulders quivering as she spoke. Evfra tilted his head, his gut twisting further. He had not known this. Previous to the time spent in that cave on Voeld their relationship had been strictly professional, mostly at Evfra's insistence.    
   
"He died, and... since then I haven't..." She paused, seeming to have an inner debate over the words she should use. "I _wouldn't_ let anyone close to me like he was... it hurt too much. To think that I could lose someone like that again. The pain is almost unbearable... Sometimes it still is." She looked down, shutting her eyes to keep her tears at bay.    
He didn't think he would ever get used to seeing her cry.    
Evfra didn't know what to say, doubts started gnawing at him. She practically said any life they could have together was unlikely. It was heartbreaking, but the logical side of himself told him no, you idiot, that's not what she meant. His thoughts came to a halt as she spoke again, his breath catching in his throat.    
   
"But when I'm with you... just being beside you makes me feel alive again. Makes me think... _loving_ someone isn't as overrated as it sounds." Her words trailed off into a whisper at the end. if she was being honest with herself she was afraid to acknowledge that she cared for him, loved him, for fear of it being rejected or dismissed.    
   
But instead of scoffing and growling out some insult, Evfra glanced down at her, his features softened. "I know what you mean."    
   
She smiled, relieved, leaning her head back on his shoulder. A sudden thought struck her, chewing at the inside of her cheek. "how many people do you think are staring at us right now." she whispered, not daring to glance behind them at the nearly packed Tavetaan.    
   
Evfra sighed softly, his grumpy demeanor returning. "Too many for my liking, I'm sure."     
   
Sara snorted, rolling her eyes. "you big grump... who sent you out here anyways?"  Evfra glanced down at her, lifting a brow ridge. "you assume someone sent me here, and I did not come of my own free will?"    
   
She gave him a deadpanned look, one brow lifted. "Knowing you, you were probably boring holes into that poor desk of yours and would have been doing so until the sun rose above the mountains."    
   
Evfra couldn’t deny that. Rolling his eyes he sighed. "Jaal was pestering me, and I knew he wouldn't leave me be unless I was doing something that wouldn't have resulted in a few more scared recruits in the morning."    
Sara laughed softly, the corners of her eyes crinkling as she smiled. "you are pretty intimidating when you start yelling and kicking their asses in the sparring arena."    
   
Evfra furrowed his brow, glancing down at her. "Never in the time have I known you, have you ever been intimidated by me in the slightest."    
   
Sara gave him a smug look, the corners of her lips curling up in a smirk. "I find that watching you spar isn't as intimidating as it is... interesting." She let her words hang in the air, practically dripping with innuendo. her smirk growing as his eyes widened. She laughed softly, his cheeks flaring a deeper blue. Evfra struggled to find a clever retort, or something that would make sense, but he kept drawing a blank.   
   
"You're blushing." Sara giggled again, she was obviously having too much fun now. Such a tease. Evfra glanced down at her, determined to wipe that smug look off her face. He brought his hand to her chin, tilting her face up and pressing a gentle kiss to her lips. She obviously wasn't expecting that, especially in public.    
Her cheeks were a deep scarlet as he pulled away, a surprised look on her features. It was his turn to chuckle now, feeling smug himself. "Now you are too."    
   
Sara scrunched her nose at him, covering her face with her hands. Mumbling against the fabric of her jacket. "s'not fair, its more noticeable on me!"     
   
Evfra snorted, it was oddly relaxing to banter back and forth. less scathing remarks and more gentle teasing. "Don’t start what you can’t finish, Pathfinder."    
   
She looked up at him through her fingers, glaring playfully. "if we weren't in public I could do many different things to make you blush." He was not prepared for the seductive purr that accompanied her words, fighting to remain at least semi-relaxed.    
   
"I'm sure you could, but I think we have given them enough of a show, don't you?" He murmured against her ear, feeling even more smug as she shivered. She gave him a look, glancing out of the corner of her eye at the Tavetaan. Several angara were staring and some were whispering. She swore she saw Paraan Shie and the Moshae among them, though she couldn't be sure.    
   
"oh yes, word has probably already reached the nexus, by the way those three are whispering. I'm probably going to get a very awkward email from Tann about 'appropriate diplomatic conduct'."  she mused, rolling her eyes.    
   
Evfra sighed, stretching his arms. " I should probably finish the reports on my desk..." He groused, shaking his head.    
   
"I can help, if you'd like. It'll get done faster." She offered, looking up at him questioningly.    
   
He shrugged, standing from the ground and offering his hand to her. "Sure. I could always use good company."    
   
Sara took his hand with a soft gasp, standing from her spot  and brushing herself off. "Was that a compliment, General?"    
   
He shook his head, smiling slightly, it almost felt strange to do... he had not done so in so long. To think that a year ago he had looked at her with distrust in his heart. It pained him to think of it now. "of course not, Pathfinder." He teased, walking beside her towards Resistance HQ.    
   
He glanced over his shoulder, recognizing some of his soldiers at the bar who were staring at them slack jawed. not even bothering to hide it like some people. He shot them a scathing glare that had one of them falling out of his seat with a yelp, sending his drink flying into another's lap, the other two jumping up and scampering away to avoid his gaze.    
   
He chuckled, shaking his head as he walked into the headquarters with her hand in his.   
   
   
Scott watched from the loft, smiling. It was good that Sara had someone other than himself, gods knows she would need it in the days to come. he turned back to his friends, a weight lifted off his shoulders.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure how I feel abt this one, but I think I did pretty good. it's probably a bit out of character for Evfra because he's hardly ever soft and caring in game, but I tried my best. hope you all liked it! I'm thinking there will be maybe five stories in this series in total, maybe more if I feel like it.
> 
> check me out on tumblr at vaakaarianss, I mostly talk about dragon age and mass effect but there's other stuff there too.


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